Sex is what you can learn

By organic In ! Without a column On December 4, 2023

The less taboo the topic of sex becomes, the more conflicting information appears – especially with regard to female sexuality. Sexology professor debunk the most common myths.

“First, let me introduce yourself,” writes Laura Mints. – I am 55 years old, I am a professor of psychology and sexology, and for my students – “a professor who discusses a lot about sex”. And this is so, because I teach the psychology of human sexuality.

In the last semester, a colleague asked me how I evaluate the knowledge of the sexual side of the relationship of modern students. Unfortunately, I was forced to answer: “This generation is much less informed than any other because they draw distorted information from pornographic films available today”.

When I honestly shared this with my students, they agreed with me, admitting that perhaps the most false information concerns female sexuality. I hope my letter will help to clarify some of these questions. I also want to clarify that when I say “sex”, I mean all types of sexual activity, and by no means a moment of direct physical contact.

Sex should bring pleasure and only pleasure. Modern education programs are often concentrated on negative and dangerous moments that can be associated with this process (undesirable pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases). Thus, unconsciously laid a distrust of the sexual part of the relationship.

You deserve pleasure and should not put a partner’s satisfaction in first place. This applies to both constant relationships and any other sexual contact.

Some women, even in moments of strong excitement, need lubricants. Use them. Not all women are found in the same mysterious point g. Moreover, not all women find the stimulation of this area pleasant.

In order to experience an orgasm, the absolute majority need excitation in the clitoris area. A very insignificant percentage of women is able to achieve the highest point of pleasure without the stimulation of the clitoris.

A woman needs an average of at least 20 minutes of preliminary caresses in order to suffer enough and experience an orgasm. Such stimulation is also required to prepare the vagina for sexual intercourse.

It is masturbation that helps a woman know herself. The study of your body makes it possible to determine which type of clitoral stimulation you need. Someone needs a direct affection of this sensitive zone. Someone achieves more excitement from touching the area located around the clitoris. There are women for whom such light touch is important that it is better to stimulate erogenous zones through underwear. It is important to remember that there are no single rules, each body is unique and has an individual constitution. In addition, with different partners, a woman may experience new desires in the field of excitement.

It is important to learn how to communicate with a partner and openly discuss what exactly gives you pleasure and leads to orgasm. Do not forget, he also saw the films, where he was “explained” that the most important thing in sex is his penis. If you simulate an orgasm, he will be sure that they show the truth in porn films. And all you need is only his good erection.

Try not to think about it is so advantageous you look in bed. It is impossible to experience an orgasm by drawing a stomach or turning to a partner only by a certain side. This process involves complete dissolution in emotions and sensations. For this, the skills of physical and mental relaxation and disconnection from external stimuli will help. You can practice such exercises during the day, they are useful for all spheres of life. And at the necessary moment will come in handy in sexual communication with a partner.

You smell perfectly, and your discharge is completely normal. If at the time of excitation the genitals release the liquid (even if there is no sexual contact), do not strive to immediately remove it: this can lead to the development of infections.

Unfortunately, too many women are victims of sexual violence, and I want to repeat again: in all cases this is definitely not your fault. Even if you were drunk or put on too short skirt.

Sex is what you can learn. We are not born with this talent. Most young people receive rights to drive a car, they undergo training, and society takes care

that it is safe driving a pleasure. At the same time, we do not spend similar efforts in order to teach the necessary sexual behavior skills, which, by analogy with driving, should also be safe and happy. To make sex even better, trust and openness in communication with a partner is necessary, as well as openness with yourself in the study of your body, habits and desires ”.

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